CD 18

I had my follow up ultrasound today. The little 11mm follie did grow, but only to 15mm and then flatlined. I wasn't that sad about the outcome because I knew it was pretty much impossible for it to grow 7mm in just a few days.

I did ask about the +OPK I got on CD15. She said that since I have/had irregular cycles along with the PCOS, my body has LH surges throughout the day and I just happened to catch a spike. She did ask if we humped it out, and I told her that we did, because you never know :)

My next cycle they are switching me from the Clomid to Femara, along with the hCG trigger. I think that I'll try this way for 3 months and if nothing happens, I want to get more invasive, maybe start IUI's with injects. But only time will tell...

Isn't this the truth?



CD17

I just realized that I have my follow up ultrasound in the morning! I don't have a "feeling" about how the appointment will go but I'm kind of excited. I've been having some slight cramps going on, so I'm hoping that means that my little follies are growing in there!

I also decided to start taking my basal body temperature (BBT) in the morning. I used to temp everyday but my temps were all over the place. When I showed my charts to my RE, he told I was just wasting my time because of the PCOS. But I'm starting to think that my body is actually working the way that it's supposed to and that my temps now, will be more consistent.

I could kick myself because I thought about starting at the beginning of this cycle but I forgot :( If I did remember, maybe I would know for a fact if the +OPK that I got the other day, was really because I was ovulating or not. Oh well, can't dwell on the past, can we?

What I feel like right now, lol

What?!?!

I went to a funeral today for my mom's friend's brother. I haven't seen many of these people in years, and of course the "Do you have any kids yet?" and the "When are you going to have a baby?" questions came. I just put on a happy face and smiled through my "Oh not yet" reponses.

During the service and the reception, I kept feeling a throbbing pain in my lower back on my right side. I took an aspirin and didn't think too much of it. When I got home, I decided to use one of my many OPK's (ovualtion prediction kit). I have never, ever gotten a positive on one but I thought I would give it a whirl.

I dipped the stick in the ol' cup of pee, put it down, waited for about 3 minutes and checked it out. It was POSITIVE! I thought my eyes were playing tricks in me, so I dipped another 2 tests in. Same results.

Sooo, the question is now, is it a false positive because of me having PCOS (people with PCOS are known for getting positives of OPK's throughout their entire cycle). And if it really is a true positive, with my small follie sizes, would I truly ovualte or is my body just gearing up for no reason?

 But for whatever reason, just seeing the positives, it makes me feel happy, like my body is trying to do something. We'll definitely be humping it out either way!

Three POSITIVE opk's :)



CD14- Follie Scan Day!!!

Today was my ultrasound to check on my follie sizes. Even though I've had a rough few weeks, I tried to be positive.

I arrived 45 minutes early for my appointment, hoping that they could get me in sooner. They had even changed my appointment from 2:30pm to 2:15pm. I guess they were backed up because I wasn't called back until 2:49pm. So that was already was getting on my nerves. I had to wait another 10 minutes in the room for the NP.

Results of the ultrasound: two follies on my right side, but they are only at 10mm and 11mm, no where near the 18mm they need to be to trigger. I was super disappointed, but deep down I kinda knew that it wasn't going to be a good appointment.

They scheduled me to go back on Monday to see if any of the follies had a late reaction to the meds. I'm hoping that they did, but I think it's pretty much impossible for them to grow 7-8mm in just 3 days.

If nothing progresses, I'm going to ask what the next step is from here.

P.S.- I will be working hard on trying to be more positive throughout each cycle. Pretty sure having a bad attitude is not helping my situation any.



 



What NOT to do when an emotional wreck

I had the bright idea to rent some movies from the box of red. One of the movies I got was "What to Expect When You're Expecting".

Wrong move. I spent most of the movie trying not to cry. And then I cried myself to sleep. Totally not a great way to end the night when you have an early morning.

I've been completely pessimistic during this cycle as well. I'm not sure why, but I think it's because I'm stuck in the "It's never going to happen to me" phase still. Hopefully it passes very soon.

Justin                          Me



HSG Test

After my bust of a cycle last time, I started doing some more research on the interwebz and public community forum boards. I soon began to hear about an HSG test, where a catheter is inserted through the cervix, injects a contrast and checks to see if the fallopian tubes to the ovaries are opened or blocked. I thought to myself, I want, NEED to get that done because all the medicine in the world couldn't help me if one or both of my tubes are blocked.

I had the test done on Sept 13, with a diagnosis of both tubes CLEAR!!!! There has been speculation that the next 3 months after having this test done, upps the chance of getting pregnant due to a "cleaning/dusting of the tubes". But I have PCOS so I might not fall into that category. I can tell you though, I have my fingers crossed that I do.

Not my ute, but an idea of what it looks like



An Update to the Clomid Crazies

So I told you earlier about my breakdown/scream-fest at a perfect stranger, but now I have different side effects from taking the Clomid.

Instead of being Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hide, I am the complete opposite and cry like a baby at anything and everything. I hear a sad song on the radio or that SPCA commercial on tv and I'm a wreck. This seriously cute video of a little boy at a party with a pinata and instead of hitting it with the stick, he goes up and hugs it. I lost it, tears just streaming down my face.

 

 

 

Another thing that an emotional-wreck of a person should not do, is volunteer at your younger siblings Jog-A-Thon. There I am in the middle of about 500 kids, from Pre-K to 6th and I'm struggling to hold it together, thinking all the time "look at all these kids. Am I ever going to be a parent? I wonder if any parents here had any problems getting pregnant?" You know the usual

 

 And then they start doing the introductions of all the war veterns that they had invited to participate in their Patriot Parade. I can feel the tears coming, thankful that I have my sunglasses on. I'm trying to think about anything else, just to "escape" what's going on around me. And then the National Anthem.

 

 

I. Was. Done.

 

 

I do have to say that I would definitely prefer the crying side effects over the demonic ones.

 

Round #3- Aug 2012

This cycle was going to stay the same but they lowered the dose of the Dexamethasone, and had me take it 5 days longer. I didn't feel like this was going to be a good cycle, I was still so pessimistic from my last cycle.

So on Friday, Aug 17, I went to my follow-up appointment. My feeling were verified. I only had 1 mature follicle and it was only measuring at 18mm. I was super disappointed. But Holly was still rooting for me. She told me to take a different kind of trigger on Sunday, that way it'll give the follicle a little more time to grow until then. She also prescribed me an estrogen patch and progestorone vaginal inserts to help me make it to my test date, 14days later.

X marks the lone follie



I was on my own again on Sunday night. This time I was taking a Novarel trigger shot. This was quite different from the Ovidrel. I had to mix the solution myself. First pull the liquid from one bottle, put it in the powder bottle, mix like crazy, change needles and then inject .In. The. BUTT! And to make matters worse, this needle was Extremely long, at about 1 1/2 inches! Once again, I'm freaking out with the needle size and the fact that I have to twist around and then inject myself.



I tolf myself to suck it up, cleaned with an alcohol swab, then BAM! I felt the initial poke, but there was no pain after. I then make the mistake and look in the mirror and I can still see the needle still in my body. It took forever to inject all the medicine but once it was done, I pull it out and it's over. Second mistake that I made was looking at the syringe again. There was blood where the needle met the syringe. I went pale and then started to think that I did something wrong, (nothing wrong happened, it just sometimes suck in a little blood after injecting).

And now the 2 Week Wait.

I did make it to my 14 day test date, but it was a Big Fat Negative (BFN). So now I just had to wait for my period to come and get ready for the next cycle.

Round #2- July 2012

After taking the new 150mg Clomid dose along with the Dexamethasone on CD 5-9, I finally had my follow-up ultrasound on CD 15! My fingers and toes were crossed that I would finally get good news.

Holly was the NP that would be doing the ultrasound. So as I lay there with my legs up in the stirrups and my head turned to try to get a glimpse of the screen, she tells me, "Sista, sista, you have got some things going on in here!"

I had THREE MATURE FOLLICLES!!! Two were at 22mm and the other one was at 24mm! Finally found the meds that work! Next step, was then a self administered injection, in the stomach.

Let me preface here, that I'm completely okay with needles, as long as it's someone else who is doing it. How am I supposed to stick a needle into my stomach myself? I start to freak out. It had to be done at exactly 8pm that night.

Justin was working until 9:30pm that night, so he couldn't do it. My mom volunteered. I love my mom but when she can't really see with her reading glasses on, I think that I'll pass on her offer. Fifteen miutes prior, I take the syringe out and start to prepare everything, including my mind. I decided to inject myself in my mom's kitchen (perfectly acceptable, right?) with a full audience of my younger siblings.

The trigger shot was a brand called Ovidrel. It had a small, less than a 1 inch needle on the syringe. This was going to be a subcutaneous injection, which was to be inserted at a 45* angle. I was prepped and ready to go. With everyone staring, I counted to 3, closed my eyes, and stabbed myself. To much surprise, I felt absolutely nothing! I was so glad that it was over.

The next orders were to have sex that night, twice the next day, and once more on the next. And then the dreaded 2 Week Wait to test to see if it worked.

Two days before my test date, I started my period. I was devastated! I just started sobbing with Justin, when he told me "Don't worry, we'll get those eggs fertilized".

I felt like such a failure. Why wasn't this working? Why me? How much longer do we have to keep doing this? All the while, it seemed that everyone I knew, was either getting pregnant or having their babies. It was a very hard time for me.

Onto the next cycle...

The Clomid Crazies

What they don't tell you about Clomid:

Clomid will turn a completely normal person into a crazy, hormonal BITCH! Like seriously Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hide, shit. One moment, you're skipping along minding your own business and then your husband looks at you wrong or makes you repeat what you just asked him to do, and it's done. The Clomid Crazies are out!

My first experience with the Clomid Crazies in a public setting went as follows:

Me: Hi, old 80yr old man filling in for the manager at the Storage Unit, I would like to return these mattress covers that we didn't use
Him: I'm sorry but we don't do returns
Me: Hmmm, let's try this again, I would like to return these
Him: Once again, we don't do returns
Me: Where on the receipt does it say "no returns"? (It's about ready to hit the fan)
Him: I'm just filling in for the manager right now
Me: sobbing and pretty much screaming at this point- Show me where it says "NO RETURNS"!!!!
Him: he just sits there, looking side to side, not knowing what to do

At this point, the tears are full-flow down my face and I can't stop them, or the yelling. I'm. Out. Of. My. Mind. Crazy. This poor man is sitting in the eye of the storm, just watching my complete breakdown and is frozen to his chair, probably thinking that I might jump over the counter if he moved an inch.

This finally ended with me grabbing the mattress covers and receipt and stomping towards the door. When I got to the door (which was a safe distance away from the counter), the man told me that I should come back later and talk with the manager.

I snapped my head around and asked him if he was going to let me return the covers. He said probably not. I retorted with a "THEN WHY WOULD I COME BACK AND WASTE MY TIME!!! THIS IS THE REASON I DID NOT RENT FROM YOU!!!!!

And then slammed the door.

Pretty graceful, right? All to get back $20

A Little Bit of History

(Okay maybe a lot, lol)

Hi, I'm Lindsy and I'm 29 years old. I also have PCOS. I was first diagnosed in November of 2011, but I have always "known" that something was wrong. My periods were only coming maybe 3-4 times a YEAR and it's gets pretty embarassing when it just shows up when you're in the 7th grade :::shudders at the memory:::

So after getting a full time job with good insurance, I made an appointment with my OB and had all the tests ran. Results were in and it was confirmed: PCOS. Had high testosterone, with borderline high sugar. So that put me at being borderline insulin resistant, meaning borderline diabetic. She said tht could definitely be the cause of my not being to ovulate and have a regular period.

Even after subconsiously knowing since I was a teenager that I had a problem and would probably have a problem getting pregnant, just seeing and hearing the words from my OB hit me pretty hard. But we had a plan of action. She prescribed 500mg Metformin and 100mg Clomid. She told me that on my Cycle Day (CD) 21, I needed to have bloodwork done to show if I ovualted. The bloodwork came back at 0.5! Seriously body, WTF? It needs to be at least a 10, and a 15 if it's a medicated cycle. So I was no where even close!

During this time, I was doing my own research online. Turns out when you're doing a Clomid cycle, the doctor should be also doing an internal ultrasound (vag-cam) to monitor the ovaries for follicle growth and cysts. And doing bloodwork on CD21 if only for a person with a normal 28-day cycle who actually ovulates on CD14, which I was no where even close to. Follow-up bloodwork needs to be done on 7 days past ovualtion (DPO). This was a complete waste of my cycle and time!

I had a confrontation with the Office Manager at my OB's, and just told her I wanted to be referred out to a Reproduction Endocrinologist (Fertility Doc). She told me that she was also going there and made a smart comment about how the doctor won't help me until I lose weight, since that's what he told her. Please! I know that I'm more on the fluffier side but this girl was frickin' HUGE!!! And seriously, trying to bash me about my weight in front of the whole office, what great customer service!

Fast forward 2 months, and I go to the RE. Dr. S was great! So the plan that he came up with was to go back on a Clomid cycle, and with COMPLETE MONITORING! My Metformin was upped to 2000mg to help control my sugar levels, and 1-81mg baby aspirin.

I was super excited at my first u/s. I totally knew that it worked and all the other rainbows and unicorns, then complete road block! I had absolutely NO RESPONSE to the Clomid at all! The follicles need to be at least 18mm in order to force ovualtion with a trigger shot. Another cycle out. They upped my Clomid to 150mg and also included .5mg of Dexamethasone which will lower my androgen levels. The doc also prescibed me Provera to jumpstart my period so we can get ready for the next cycle.